“Some News + 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Mom”

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10 Things You  Should NeverSay to (1)

So, if you’re a regular reader and have been wondering, “Where in the WORLD is Keri?”, then I hope this post will enlighten you. If you haven’t noticed that I’ve been posting very erratically lately, then you’re still going to find out where I’ve been.

The not-so-exciting answer is that I’ve been mostly lying on the couch or in bed, making frequent trips to the bathroom. TMI, sorry. But it’s all good. You know why?! Because we’re having a BABY!!

Baby Tidwell

This will be our 4th child, and, honestly, we are thrilled!! I know it isn’t common to have more than 1, 2 possibly 3 kids, but the Lord keeps blessing us and we are so grateful. Today, even though I’ve been to dozens of ultrasounds, I cried seeing this new life moving around inside me. You can’t take it lightly. Life is beautiful; it is a gift from God that we do not deserve.

Lest this post becomes any more maudlin and you run away, I would like to offer a little advice —

10 things you should not say to a pregnant woman {of multiple children}{who are 5 & under}{who are all girls}. That is, if I know you, please do not say any of these things to me. Honestly, I’m likely to walk away from you if you do.

Please do not say:

  1. Don’t you know what causes that? Yes, we do. Thank-you-very-much.
  2. Are you trying for a boy this time? Yes! Because we can totally control that.
  3. You’ve really got your hands full. Yes, I know I do, and I have never been more blessed.
  4. Where are you going to put another kid in your tiny house? Our children share rooms, and we actually have more room than people who have even more children than we do.
  5. I bet you can’t wait until your oldest goes to Kindergarten. Uh, we homeschool and she’s already in Kindergarten.
  6. Aren’t you getting on up there in years? Yes, I’ll be 35 when this angel is born, but women have had them much older.
  7. With 3 girls already, odds are you’ll have another girl. Sure and that would be fine with us. Plus, it’d save us a lot of money!
  8. Was it plannedWe will freely admit that NONE of our children were planned by us, but ALL of them were planned by God. He’s a pretty good planner.
  9. I never had morning sickness. Well, good for you! I’ve been sick as a dog with this pregnancy, so you’d better watch out!
  10. I could only handle 2 kids. You must be Super Woman. No, I’m not, but I truly believe that God gives us everything we need to carry out His will. He will provide where I lack, and where I need to grow, He will grow me — He already has!

And if you walk away from me because you’re afraid you might say one of these things, then I will not be offended. Thank you in advance for your consideration of my feelings and the feelings of other pregnant women out there.

We need encouragement. need encouragement. Be that encouragement for a pregnant mom today.

“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

1 Thessalonians 5:11

What has someone said to you that really offended or upset you when you were pregnant? 

Blessings, friends!

Keri.Signature

 

 

 

Don’t forget: Next Friday, February 14th, is our next link-up! Come & share any posts you’ve written related to goals. 

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Comments

  1. First: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Yay!!

    Second: When I was pregnant with H, Will had lost his job, and we were on food stamps at the time. The cashier at the grocery told me that I really shouldn’t be having more children if we couldn’t even afford to feed the ones we already had. 😛
    Lisha recently posted…Learning cursive with snow!My Profile

  2. First!!! Many many congratulations! Very happy for you.

    Secondly, I’ve had all three said to me at one point or another and what Lisha added. PLUS one poor fool had the audacity to ask me, “You just had a miscarriage didn’t you? Why in the world would you get pregnant again now??” I’m afraid I did a little more than simply walk away from them.

    You’re a very blessed woman.
    Chrystal recently posted…Wicked Weather and Spontaneous ScienceMy Profile

    • Chrystal, I will never cease to be amazed. For me at least, it helps to remember to be considerate of my words to others. I want to be sure I’m an encouragement to others and not cynical or negative. I have really struggled with both in the past, and hearing the negative comments does help me to watch my own tongue.

  3. Congratulations!
    Babies truly are a blessing.

  4. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you both. I could definitely add to the list but my least favorite is “do you know how that happens?” or “are you done”. Many prayers and let me know if you need anything.

  5. Congrats, Keri!!! I’m sooo excited for you. 🙂 I’m sure your girls are thrilled too. As the oldest of 8 (first 7 girls and the last one was a boy) I grew up hearing a lot of the same comments. Even now when people hear about me having 6 sisters and then a boy the majority of people say, “did they just keep trying for a boy”. They were like you guys though, they didn’t really try/not try for us. (And mom turned 43 right before Jared was born, so I’m sure people thought a lot of things about her age too) We also got “are you Amish or Catholic” a lot. I secretly wanted a second girl (but didn’t say it to anyone), but Spencer was/is pretty fantastic. 😉
    Deanna recently posted…Easy Skillet LasagnaMy Profile

  6. The comment I (still) hate hearing is : Just wait until . . .
    She’s born! You won’t get any sleep!
    She’s a toddler! You’ll have to chase her all over the place!
    The Terrible Twos! You won’t be able to stand her!
    Grade School! She’ll get mouthy & have a bad attitude!
    The Teen Years! She’ll rebel & you’ll hate her!
    College! The bills will be horrible and she won’t be able to choose a major!
    Young Adulthood! She’ll abandon all your values!
    Etc, Etc, Etc
    I LOVE & LIKE my daughter – and I loved & liked the older (now grown) boys too – and guess what? All those threats about kids are just nonsense! Kids are great : )
    Anna@stuffedveggies recently posted…Stove Top Breadsticks – No Oven Required!My Profile

  7. A (male) complete stranger in the grocery store, upon learning I was pregnant with my fourth said, “you must like sex!” I really had no idea how to respond.

  8. I can so relate to every one of “those” comments. They were all said to me at one time or another and I felt the same way that you expressed yourself. We are so excited for you and Daniel! Congratulations!!

  9. I’m so happy for you guys! What a precious little baby! I’m sure the girls are thrilled. As for those remarks, I guess it just goes along with the territory. I get the “You must be a Saint” a lot. No, I’m not a saint. I just trust God to get me through the day. And I need to do that everyday. lol. 🙂 Really happy, Keri! Hope it gets easier from here on out!
    Jillian recently posted…The Road to Financial Freedom Part 2My Profile

  10. CONGRATS!!!!

    With 8 kiddos, our most common reaction is, “Are you finished?” or “Is this the last one?” I don’t get hurt or offended, but if I did, that would do it. 🙁
    Heather@To Sow a Seed recently posted…Feeding the People {a 2-week menu with links}My Profile

  11. Congratulations!! I love the picture. Good list! #2 & #9 made me laugh. 🙂 I was 35 when our youngest was born. If I hadn’t gotten fairly bad PIH with all three pregnancies, and long-term illness after that, we probably would have hoped for more children when I was even older!
    Christa recently posted…A Story of KindnessMy Profile

  12. Congratulations Keri! So happy for you and your family. I loved your list. People say too many blunt things to pregnant women for sure. I remember being shocked by several questions/comments. Hoping for you to feel better and to have a very smooth pregnancy. God is good.
    Morgan recently posted…Apple CrumbleMy Profile

  13. I just found you via the list it Tuesday link up! First of all – Congratulations on your pregnancy!!!

    I really agree with all of your points, and I’m always amazed and what people actually think is appropriate to say. I really agree with points 8 and 10, which really resonate with my personal experiences when I was pregnant with my son (only child so far). I had a horrible experience with family members’ response to my pregnancy, which still affects me and my husband deeply even now that our child is 18 months old.
    Number ten made me tear up! Thank you for sharing this!
    Yuliya recently posted…Snert recept – A traditional Dutch recipe for split pea soup!My Profile

  14. Congrats! I have 4 kids, 2 girls and 2 boys. I was always shocked at all the unsolicited advice people felt they needed to share
    Gingermommy recently posted…White Chocolate CupcakesMy Profile

  15. Congratulations! I couldn’t agree more that every, single life is a gift from God, a true miracle. My husband and I are still TTC, after 2 miscarriages, so I completely agree that every child and life is ordained by Him and should be celebrated!

    Sorry you’ve run into so many insensitive people. Some just don’t get it! But don’t let it steal your joy!

    Stopping by from SITS comment love! 🙂
    katie recently posted…Me: A Miserable, Cranky, Human BeingMy Profile

  16. Congrats on the baby!!!!! Hubby and I are trying to start a family real soon! I couldn’t be more excited. I’m sure I’ll have similar experiences of my own, haha. Can’t wait.

    Sharing some SITS Girls comment love!

  17. Oh Keri, I can relate, and not just because we are both named Ker/ri! I wrote a post last year after a “friend” kept telling me how huge I was and that I needed to have the baby early. (This is after two high risk pregnancies)

    The only things people should say is how beautiful a pregnant woman looks and ask if they need any help.

    End of story!
    Kerri (TheMaven) recently posted…Easy Valentine’s Day Printables for KidsMy Profile

  18. What a great list. When I was preggo with #3 people asked all the time, “Don’t you know how they get in there.” You are way more polite then I was. I always told them, “No. I have no idea, can you please explain it in detail to me?” With my sweetest, nicest voice with a huge smile on my face.
    Kat Ryan recently posted…Bobbi Brown.. Uber PinkMy Profile

  19. Congrats on the little one and if someone said something to a pregnant hormonal woman and didn’t like the response maybe it’ll teach them a lesson. 🙂 Stopping by from The SITS Girls.
    Kendra recently posted…Strawberry Puppy ChowMy Profile

  20. Can we say congratulations?
    Congratulations! Nothing more precious than a new life! And you’re only 35? You’ve got all kinds of time! Hoping you’re feeling good and staying rested.
    I notice you’re reading two books I just read; A Praying LIfe (still reading that one) and Survival Mode (excellent, of course). Looks like we have similar taste in books!
    Nice to meet you, see you tomorrow for your linkup.
    Beth Cranford recently posted…Finally, My Goals For The Year!My Profile

  21. Congrats! And while I’ve never been pregnant myself, I can only imagine the blank stares I would give to people that would say stuff like this. Wow.
    Kelly recently posted…Getting Exercise In While Working At HomeMy Profile

  22. Lists like these need to be printed on maternity t-shirts;) I think the only offensive comments I received while pregnant were from my mother-in-law who seems to have no filter. The most memorable was when my husband and I first found out we were pregnant with our first son. We had no idea at that point that we were having a boy, so I told her names that I liked if the baby were to be a girl. She immediately told me she didn’t like any of those names and the reasons why. We decided after that that we would only tell people the names we had picked. Not names we were thinking of. They are less likely to give us our opinions that way (unless it’s my MIL, who still gave us her two cents after we picked names). Congratulations on your new blessing! #sitsblogging
    Katie @ Addicted 2 DIY recently posted…Thursday S.T.Y.L.E. Link Party #7My Profile

  23. Congrats! I only have 1 girl but we are friends with another family with 5 girls.
    Katrina @ Enchanted Savings recently posted…Valentine’s Day $100 Crafters Gift Card Giveaway (ends 2/21)My Profile

  24. Congratulations! Such a blessing 🙂
    Kara recently posted…My Favorite FREE Fonts for February 2014My Profile

  25. Your list made me giggle, Keri. I see where you’re coming from, but not currently pregnant myself it is a little funny to read- especially your responses. Congrats again on this new baby. How exciting things must be around your house!
    Jelli recently posted…How to Get Free Cloth DiapersMy Profile

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